And then, there are authors...

Happy New Year from Camp Erehwon! May your days be full of peace and fulfillment!

I know I am working with a limited audience here, but that is okay with me. It fits in with the reality of authorship, really. Everyone in the world has a different way of life, and a different approach to the ebb and flow of the daily tides. By the graces of heaven above most of us don't have to do it alone. That includes me. I am blessed with a wonderful and supportive family, rewarding work with exceptional teammates, and a great faith community.

But, as an author I also am caught between worlds, and for the most part in the realm of writing, I am utterly alone. Authors live in the world, and they live separate from the world when they are writing. When I am back at Camp Erehwon I sometimes feel my loneliness amplified. No one in the here-and-now can be with me, and my characters can't know that I am eavesdropping in on their private world. The result is that I am invisible while I am working feverishly to capture everything that I experience and witness. All I can hope for is that when I return, I can share what I have seen with others, so that they can have a wonderful glimpse into that place I go.

Writing is exhausting. It defies any attempt to manipulate the truth as it is laid bare, no matter how much the author struggles with the story. If a person cannot accept the truth of what they experience and put it into words, they aren't much of an author. There is a humbling honesty about it, a brightness in gloom that cannot be stifled. That is at the heart of my role as the first visitor to Camp Erehwon.

In the beginning was an idea, and the idea began to take on a form. When I started visiting Erehwon I battled to keep the story MY story. I wanted it MY way. I wanted it to be MY message. Oh, how I fought! It was a losing battle from the onset. Not my best Sun Tzu moment. It took time, but I finally managed to let go and let the story tell itself. I had to give up control and accept everything that came my way with honesty. And the story that I began to see! Well, if you have read Monsters of Camp Erehwon, you know. When I let go, when I learned to accept my support role, I grew. Rather than being broken down and forced to accept defeat, I grew. There was a great liberation that came with it as well. No longer did I have to be solely responsible for all those things out of my control, but only for the small part I played in transmitting that truth.

"Let go, let God." Is it like that? Oh yes. More than anyone can really understand that hasn't stood where I stand. As a wonderful priest once observed, and subsequently passed around, "God is God... and you are NOT." If you don't learn to give up control in matters of authorship, in faith, in relationships, you simply cannot grow. We aren't the center of the universe, and that is as it should be. Rather our responsibility is to write, and write honestly, every page of our lives. Think about that. When we give up the silly idea of total control and learn to accept and listen and learn we finally become whole. That is something I wish for all of you, no matter how few of you are out there reading this. I want you to be whole.